Being a mom is filled with emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy, managing hurdles and challenges as well. Amidst the hustle bustle of my mommy life, while time flies like fairy dust, I sat back today as I lost in sands of time. I was blessed with an adorable baby, a beloved husband and a caring fly – yet I find myself crying for no reason – call it blues, mood swings, but why every newborn mother cries is definitely unwarranted but still endearing! I have just had my first baby & the excitement of being with my newborn has also set my emotions go overboard.
One fine evening, I was sitting on my porch, looking at the vehicles crossing by the roads – tears started rolling out my cheeks & I did not know why! Did I love being a mom? Certainly the first few weeks after the child birth, I really wasn’t sure if I loved being a mom! I was asked not to go out of my house for 40 days with some food restrictions as well – felt like I was sick – yes, sick of not being me. I wanted to run away somewhere! I have always imagined only the sunny side of the parenthood & did not hit the reality until I encounter those first few days after I left hospital. Feeding, nappy changes, rocking rocking until she sleeps, exhausted yet unable to sleep – As much I was exhilarated being a mom – I also felt fretful. My mom & my hub would patiently listen to me & would ask me not to be such a crybaby and be positive as the vibes of mine would pass on to my mollycoddle. I was conscious not to cry but few things were beyond my control! You know those tears won’t stop coming as if the taps were wide open – booooo hooooo!
I wish someone would have told me that I’m not the only one going through the blues & this happens due to the hormonal changes that every woman go through! I would not sleep a wink at nights as I have to feed my baby every 2 hours (strictly!)… My alarms were always on & I would be waiting for my alarm to ring – wide awake! While I was so enthusiastic about walking & exercise to bring my darling safely out, I almost forgot to perform the same rituals after my delivery to keep me fit. I almost forgot myself, I guess! The triggers why I would cry is just random – sitting in isolation, all work & no play, when my baby won’t stop crying, due to eyes that are heavy with sleep, when someone judge me on my parenting abilities, changes in appetite, worrying about my baby’s health though she’s fine – almost anything!
I picked up all the pieces & slowly got over of it by changing few things in my lifestyle – Went out in sunshine, took more naps while my baby sleeps – now I know the value of the magical 5 minutes and make most out of it, mom & I took turns at nights to look after my baby and rock her to sleep while my dad would help over the morning session, started my post pregnancy exercises & walking, some shopping, taking some ‘me-time’. Easy Peasy!!
Whatever happens, the moment when my darling stares at me & giggles, all the tears are worth it, definitely! Even now I have tears burst out in random – not blues but tears of joy being with my daughter and watching her grow happily!
To all lovely moms out there – if you feel – yes, this is how I felt too – you’re not alone – And it’s absolutely natural! Do not hesitate to ask for help when required – Be it – sharing household chores, asking hub or grandparents to babysit while you enjoy a spa or a movie of your choice. This too shall pass in a wink of an eye!